Harassment and Double Standards

( I wrote the first half of this post a few weeks ago and never published it. This is the completed version full of feminism and frustration etc.)

I rarely experience personal forms of sexism but this week has shown me so many different forms it and I. Am. Angry.

I went to a charity dance competition Friday night and the judges and the two presenters were so infuriatingly rude and insulting. It's one thing to have young immature boys who haven't the sense to know better act as though they are entitled to your attention. It's a completely different experience to be faced with adults both male and female who almost certainly have come across feminist ideas at some point in their lives and yet they act obnoxiously and disrespectfully towards people who have put themselves out there, up on stage in a very vulnerable situation to raise funds for a good cause. Watching this behavior I find myself becoming ever more disgusted with people. It's upsetting for me to see this going on and feeling utterly helpless to interfere or defend.

I have always been aware of the inequality that is rife among humanity but I've been lucky enough to not have to experience much of it first hand. It makes me want to become a human rights activist because I feel so incredibly strongly about these issues. It's so difficult to make enough of a difference to influence the way people live and treat others and I honestly don't believe it's possible to create a world free of inequality. But it doesn't stop me wanting to try.

This video is French film that shows a reversed society in which women are superior and men are oppressed. YouTube has made it age restricted due to 'sexual violence' which is frustrating because there are so many more harmful videos for people to watch on YouTube and this video is literally showing how horrific and awful sexual harassment and violence is, not promoting it. Anyway I recommend you watch it.

While I'm on a feminist rant I might as well include another video which honestly nearly made me cry because of the heart wrenching truth in it. All my life, whenever I've become passionate about anything I've been accused of becoming too emotionally invested, becoming aggressive when I'm trying to tell someone why my beliefs are important to me. I've seen girls lose their spirit and become apathetic about things they were once ardently devoted to because they were interrupted and laughed at for being bossy or loud. I learned at a young age to suppress my knowledge and intelligence because I feared being called a know-it-all again. I've been called stubborn, pushy, bossy and every other name mentioned in this video, by adults. We are taught to keep our heads down, to allow others take the lead by our parents, teachers, family members, everyone who we are expected to respect and obey. And then society asks why there aren't more female leaders, why are the majority of commanding job positions operated by men? Oh it's because women aren't capable of that job position, men are just better. Fucking bullshit. It's because unlike little boys who are praised for being ambitious, assertive and called leaders, we as girls are discouraged in the most severe form from these very same actions.

The Breaking of a Free Spirit

Last night I attended a showing of the Taming of the Shrew by the Globe theatre production company on tour. I'm not going to do a review on the show or talk their performance - suffice to say they were wonderful and entertaining and if you ever get a chance to see them live don't miss it. But today I want to talk about the story. SPOILER ALERT, obviously.

The Taming of the Shrew may be a well known as a Shakespearean comedy but by the end it felt much like a death had occurred. Which in some sense it had. The story follows a wealthy man, Baptista's two daughters Katherina and Bianca, the first and eldest is difficult and independent, the second and younger beautiful and humble. Many suitors come to win Bianca's hand in marriage but her father refuses to allow her until her elder sister is wedded first. So it falls that Petruchio arrives and encouraged by Katherina's expansive dowry agrees to woo her. Intrigued by his eagerness where every other man has been afraid ever to step and his charming way with words, she permits his presence. Petruchio announces then that she is completely in love with him and despite her protests declares them to be wed the following Sunday. At the wedding Petruchio turns up late in a drunken state and assaults the priest before carrying Katherina away against her will, claiming her as his property just as much as his lands and house.
In his home he deprives her of food, sleep and clean clothing claiming for his reasons that she is too good for any of it. His true objective is however to force her into obedience like one would a dog or a horse.

If you have read the play or watched the film you might be thinking that I'm over reacting with my feminist views but I'm telling you what was in the play I saw. I have previously watched the film and though I felt slightly uncomfortable at times, it seemed as though Katherina could give as good as she got when it came to Petruchio. In the live performance though I did not see this. It bore every resemblance to an abusive relationship, both physical and psychological and I felt sick watching it.

I have never been more disgusted and afraid for human kind than sitting there in my seat listening to the raucous laughter from the audience as Petruchio forced his wife to greet an elderly gentleman as a young maiden. That a woman so determined and self-governing, so unwilling to be anyone's wife could so quickly be turned into a feeble and powerless slave to her husband - it was heartbreaking to watch.

I was ready to start sobbing by the end but a sort of shock seemed to hold back the tears that brimmed my eyes. Katherina's closing speech was in reference to a bet Petruchio had made with two other gentlemen about who's wife was the most submissive and compliant. Her own eyes filled with tears she had declared under Petruchio's order that a wife duty was to serve her husband in his every want and there was no point in refusing to do so for it would only start a war that she could not possibly win. It was easier then, to follow his orders to keep the peace for no good would ever come from fighting her husband.

"I am ashamed that women are so simple
To offer war where they should kneel for peace;"

She implored to anyone for a reason why women's bodies were so fragile and weak compared to men's and her sister and the others stared open mouthed at the shocking transformation that had come over her. Bianca, who was previously seen as a soft-willed woman was horrified at how yielding her older sister had become and appeared in comparison to be immensely confident and self-determining.

I say it is a Shakespearean tragedy because by the end of the story Katherina's will was broken and her freedom murdered. I don't mean anything against the Globe Theatre company because they put on a magnificent performance nor do I suggest you strive to take any values of Shakespeare from this play because a person's writing may in no way reflect their beliefs. I just wanted to have a little rant.

Stories from the Streets

I've been working with the Kilkenny Arts Festival all week, as I was last year. I wrote two blog posts last year on my exhausting experience which you can see here and here. This year won't be nearly as interesting because I'm not working at any of the events themselves but hopefully I can bring you a few juicy tales.

 A couple of days ago I was working in the box office when a middle-aged man wearing sunglasses and a dirty looking cap shuffled in and asked us to call a taxi. He swaggered up to my colleague's desk and began to complain that he had been waiting an hour for a taxi and he had no phone. When he was politely told that we aren't permitted to make phone calls for members of the public and should try Langton's restaurant just up the road, he started swearing loudly in frustration. He said Langton's refused to call him a taxi and repeated that he'd been waiting an hour and needed a taxi. After, it seemed, he had determined that he would not get a taxi called for him here he swayed out of the building muttering obscenities under his breath.

Not long after this he returned and my colleague who had spoken to him before was now on the phone with a customer. He hovered in the entrance for a couple of moments before moving towards my desk where I followed general customer procedure, smiling and asking how I could help. He claimed he had been in the sun all day and was fatigued and needed a taxi. I told him as politely as I could that we couldn't call him a taxi here and there was nothing I could do to help him. I again suggested that he ask Langton's, who will normally order anyone a taxi who needs it. He claimed he had tried Langton's earlier that week and they had threatened to call the police if he didn't leave. I'm not going to lie, he seemed like he had been drinking and he looked - I don't mean to be prejudiced - but like a drug dealer. So it didn't surprise me that Langton's had told him they'd call the police, doubtlessly for unruly behaviour.
This second time in the box office, when I spoke to him, he was discouraged more easily and left pretty quickly still muttering and telling anyone who would listen that it was "fucking ridiculous". Don't ask me what.

So fast forward to today. I was sent on an errand because the office was very quiet and everyone knows that office workers can't live without their coffee. I was walking up Kieran's street (which is well known in Kilkenny for its delinquent teenagers and its druggies) when I saw the same man again. He appeared to be even more intoxicated this time and was yelling at tourists and passers-by. I've never seen people group together in public so suddenly the way I saw them today. Exactly like in a film where someone is making a scene and strangers gather around to watch the drama unfold. It felt so surreal to see it happen right in front of my eyes.
An Asian family with two young children were subjected to his pointless, angry rant but they wisely ignored him completely and quickly walked away. Losing his prey he turned on two unsuspecting women almost shouting "What are you looking at?! I saw how you looked at me! Don't you look at me like that!!"
The women were clearly quiet frightened and though I didn't have a perfect view because the woman's back was to me, the man either hit one of them or tried to pull her scarf from her. But he definitely touched her shoulder/arm area. By now there was quiet a crowd watching from a distance but no one was doing anything to help the women. I was closer to the scene than most of the viewers and I was ready to step in and tell him to back off if he did anything else. I had to hold myself back from intervening. I hated so much to see two women standing helpless to this man while everyone around watched, but I was painfully aware that I was just one small girl and for my own personal safety I forced myself not to approach the scene unless he made a second approach at the women. I guess in this circumstance my Slytherin won through my Gryffindor.

In retrospect I think it would have been safe to interfere because the truth is people are afraid of getting involved with situations that don't concern them. They wait for someone else to act first but then people usually follow suit quickly. I think had I stepped up first to try even the most feeble of attempts to stop this drunken man other onlookers would have help me out. Maybe my opinion of humans is overly positive but I sort of wish now that I had tried to help.

The man got bored after that though and walked off still angrily swearing into the wind. Both women were considerably shaken as they moved down the street in the opposite direction. It makes me sad that there are people who just seem angry at the whole world and can't or won't contain it. It doesn't seem fair that the rest of the world should be inflicted with their built up anger. And also sad that no-one tried to help these poor women who were the victims of his inebriated outburst.