I think perhaps I've forgotten how to blog. It's very different from riding a bicycle. There is no right or wrong way therefore once forgotten it's hard to remember exactly what it is you've forgotten. What I mean to say is that I had found a method of blogging that I liked and that worked for me but now I've lost it. I don't know what it was I was trying to achieve so I can't continue trying to achieve it.
I used to blog to clear my head and to sort out my thoughts. It was just a place to put my words so that they didn't end up lost or in the washing machine. Losing my blogging voice is like losing my direction. I'm just not sure where I'm going with this anymore. And by this I mean just about everything.
That probably sounds ridiculous now I come to think of it. My posts never seemed to have any outward direction. They did however provide me with the key to reading the map. Have you also noticed how incredibly pretentious I'm sounding these days? I'm not sure if this is a new thing or I was always this way but I'm just beginning to notice. I really don't like the sound of it.
I think sometimes I try so hard to not take things seriously that I'm simply hiding from the fact that I really care a lot about said things. I suppose I wish that I could see everything as a joke, that way the outcome wouldn't matter. But in all honesty I care immensely about a lot of things that are beyond my control and many things that are also within my control. But if I try at these things I'm admitting that I care. So I don't try. And this is just possibly the root of my procrastination.
WOW was that a conclusion? I didn't ever think I'd make it.
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